It Still Hurts...

Have you experienced the same ordeal that I've been through? It really hurts, isn't it? It is a nightmare!

When my son died, I was grieving so hard...I felt so sad...I felt so much pain in my heart...always asking why it happened to him and not to anyone whose life was not worth living for...why him, he was just 23 years old, a loving, kind and responsible son and brother, smart, friendly and talented, athletic and God-fearing? Why God didn't give him a chance to live a second life, while many undergone strokes for the 2nd, 3rd and so much times and yet still living?...why...why...why?

On the 3rd night of his wake, I was sitting alone in front of his coffin...crying thinking and once more asking God of why HE let my son died. As I was crying, I noticed the carvings on the wood where his coffin was placed...a carving of "Pieta". It was Mary with Jesus on her hand, crying over the dead body of her Son. From that very moment, I felt as if Mama Mary was talking to me, saying these words, "Why are you crying? You are sad and lonely because your good son died? Don't be sad...he is now in God's hands! Don't you remember, my Son Jesus also died?...He was the only begotten Son of God but He sacrificed Himself for you and me and for all other people. I understand what you are going through...you are a mother and so I am...it really hurts but your son is going to the FATHER...HE called on to your son and he just responded to HIS call because it is already his time to rest, so cry no more because your son is now happy and at peace."

I felt so ashamed for all the bad thoughts I had...I was so narrow-minded and selfish... so I asked forgiveness from God. I have no right to question God because God is righteous. HE has better plans for each and everyone. We may not understand it, but still we have to trust God. So, i have nothing to do but to accept the fact that my son died because his mission on earth was already finished. He just arrived to his destination, in the House of our Creator. Everybody has their own time to rest and it so happened that my son's time came earlier. It still hurts inside, but i know in God's time the wound will heal...